


The One With The Chicken Pox

by fiveainley_ohmy



Category: Star Trek
Genre: Established Relationship, M/M, Sickfic, Tooth-Rotting Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-30
Updated: 2017-09-30
Packaged: 2019-01-07 03:12:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,307
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12224571
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fiveainley_ohmy/pseuds/fiveainley_ohmy
Summary: Jim gets a case of the chicken pox. Good thing Vulcans can't catch chicken pox...





	The One With The Chicken Pox

**Author's Note:**

> I'm rewatching Friends, and there's an episode where Phoebe catches the chicken pox and passes it onto her boyfriend on leave from the Navy. So I got inspired to write this!

“How did you never get vaccinated for the chicken pox?” Bones said, shaking his head with his arms crossed.

“How would _I_ know?” Jim replied, rubbing the back of his spotted neck.

“Now, stop that!” Bones scolded, striding over and pulling Jim’s hand away.

“I’m not scratching, I’m rubbing, there’s a difference!” Jim said defensively. “Look, I can’t command my ship while I’m covered in dots. You’re the hypospray maniac--can’t you whip one up to get rid of this?”

Bones raised an eyebrow in an almost Spockian manner. “‘ _Hypospray maniac_ ’?”

Jim laughed nervously. “I didn’t mean it like _that_ …”

Bones rolled his eyes. “Besides, there is no _magical cure_ for the chicken pox. That’s why there’s the vaccine, so you don’t have to get a cure later. I mean, what do you think I am? I’m a doctor, not a…” Bones froze. “A…”

Jim smiled.

“Oh, whatever, you know I mean to say!” Bones grouched.

Jim sighed. “Then what do I do?”

“There’s nothin’ you _can_ do—apart from good ol’ fashioned rest and relaxation,” said Bones.

“But the ship-”

“Look, the hobgoblin can fill in for a couple of weeks-”

“ _Weeks?!_ ” Jim exclaimed.

“With remission, it could be over sooner,” Bones said soothingly. “Look, just take this time to recharge. You’ve been running yourself ragged, your immune system’s probably worn out—it’s no wonder you got the pox.”

Jim sighed in frustration, and rubbed his face.

“ _Don’t scratch!_ ” Bones said.

“I’m _not scratching!_ ” Jim shouted back. He groaned and hopped off the examination table. “Well, I guess I’ll go to my room. I just hope nobody sees me like this.”

Bones snickered to himself after Jim had gone. “Those spots are pretty hilarious. I should’ve gotten a picture.”

* * *

Jim was considering getting in the sonic shower and throwing oats on himself (since he didn’t have a bathtub in which he could take an oatmeal bath), when he heard his door chirp. He checked the computer and saw that it was Spock at the door. “Come in.”

The door slid open and the Vulcan came inside. Jim spread his arms sheepishly, showing off his spotted self. “Behold, the human form, in all its glorious perfection.”

“Jim…” Spock stared at him in awe. “You are…”

“Polka dotted?” Jim finished.

“If that is what humans call it,” said Spock. “Dr. McCoy said you had…‘chicken pox’?”

“Yep. It’s a disease that most human children get vaccinated for when they’re young, but somehow, I never did,” Jim explained. “Anyway, someone must have been carrying it on that mission from last week when we visited the colony on Alpha Delphi, and I caught it.”

“Why are they called chicken pox?” Spock inquired. “Are they obtained from eating poultry?”

“No, no, honey,” Jim chuckled. “Honestly, no one really knows why they’re called chicken pox. They’ve just always been called that, as far as I know.”

“Do you feel unwell? Are you in pain?” Spock asked in concern.

“No, no. I’m just _really_ itchy,” Jim sighed. “I’m sorry you have to take over for me, sweetheart, but it’s only for a little while, I promise.”

“I can command the _Enterprise_ in your absence without difficulty, Jim,” Spock reassured.

Jim harrumphed. “Well, I’m glad to see that my job is so easy.”

“That is not what I meant to say…”

Jim laughed, rubbing Spock’s arm. “I’m just teasing you. So, I guess Vulcan children don’t get the chicken pox, huh?”

“It must not be an illness to which Vulcans are susceptible,” Spock replied.

“Well you don’t know what you’re missing out on,” Jim said sarcastically. Then he smiled and stood up. “Hey, if you’re immune…that means I can kiss you without getting you sick.”

A hint of a smile appeared at the corner of Spock’s lips. “That is a logical assumption.”

Jim chuckled, wrapped his arms around Spock’s shoulders, and stood up on his toes to kiss him. “That made me feel better.”

Spock frowned in confusion. “I do not understand how a kiss can alleviate one’s feelings of illness.”

“What, you mean Amanda never kissed your boo-boos when you were growing up?” Jim asked.

“No, I cannot say that my mother ever kissed my… _boo-boos_ …in my youth, as that would have done nothing to expedite their healing, and would have most likely spread germs,” Spock replied.

“Well, when you kiss someone you love, or someone you love kisses you, your brain releases an endorphin called oxytocin. It makes you feel happy, more at peace. So often times, human parents will give their offspring kisses when they’re hurt or sick to make them feel better—it’s called ‘the placebo effect’. Here, look.” Jim craned up and kissed him again.

Spock raised an eyebrow. “Fascinating…I _do_ feel better.”

Jim smiled. “I thought you’d understand.”

“I would prefer to stay, but I must return to the bridge. I only came to check on you,” Spock said.

“Okay,” Jim sighed longingly, letting him go. “At least I know my ship is in good hands.”

Spock almost walked out the door, but then, he turned back and said, “Oh, Dr. McCoy wished me to remind you not to-”

“Not to scratch, I know,” Jim groaned.

* * *

The next day, as Jim was lying in bed reading a book, he received an audio communication. Jim looked at the computer screen and saw that it was Bones. He figured that the good doctor was just checking up on his condition, but when he opened the channel, he was immediately greeted with high-pitched, hysterical laughter. “Bones? Bones!” Jim said. “What’s going on?”

“It’s…it’s…!” Another burst of laughter.

“What’s so funny?” Jim said.

Finally, Bones calmed himself enough to say, “Ha-have you seen your boyfriend today, Jim?”

“Spock? No, I haven’t seen him since yesterday. Why?”

“That’s must be when he picked it up!” Bones whooped. “It’s the funniest damn thing I’ve ever seen!”

“Picked what up?” said Jim. Then, realization dawned on him. “Oh my God, you don’t mean he’s…I _didn’t!_ He _can’t!_ ”

“Apparently, he can!” Bones snickered. “He’s in his cabin right now-”

“Oh, I _have_ to see this!” Jim punched the end call button and hurried into his and Spock’s shared bathroom.

Spock, bare from the waist up, was walking into the bathroom as the same time as Jim entered. The Vulcan froze at the sight of the other man.

Jim’s mouth dropped. “Oh. My. God.” He grinned.

Spock frowned.

“Your chicken pocks are _green!_ ” Jim exclaimed.

Spock exhaled in annoyance, blushing hard.

“You have… _asparagus_ pox!”

Spock turned around and slammed his door shut.

“Oh, honey, don’t get mad!” Jim said, following him. He crossed the room and opened the door. “Honey, I’m sorry, it’s just…they’re so _cute!_ ”

“They are not ‘cute’, Jim,” said Spock sternly. “They are manifestations of a disease. They are degrading, undignified…and quite irritating.” Spock scratched vigorously at a green spot on his bare shoulder.

“Don’t scratch,” warned Jim, coming over to him and pulling his hand away.

“Yes, I know,” Spock said, his voice tense with frustration. “The doctor made that quite plain.”

Jim groaned, laying his forehead on Spock’s speckled shoulder. “Sweetheart, I am so, _so_ sorry. You must’ve gotten them from me. I swear, if I’d known you could catch them-”

“You did not know,” said Spock. “Even I did not know. Please do not blame yourself.”

“Ugh, but I _do_ ,” said Jim. “I feel terrible.”

Spock thought for a moment. Then, he coaxed Jim’s face upward and pressed a kiss to his lips.

Jim’s eyebrows scrunched together. “What was that for?”

Spock smiled gently. “I have been told that kisses make people feel better.”

Jim smiled too. “Aww…I love you.” He hugged Spock and nuzzled his face into the side of his neck. “Well…now we can be sick together, at least.”

**Author's Note:**

> Actually, they’re called “chicken pox” because they’re said to resemble peck marks from a chicken.


End file.
